Swearing is always a hot topic. Is swearing OK, when is swearing OK, is swearing in front of children always a big NO NO?
Today we want to put it out to you that swearing in front of your kids is OK. Immediately many of you are thinking this is a load of rubbish and swearing around children is NEVER OK. Some of you are thinking, ‘Alright, let’s hear you out’.
So here we go…
If we never said a bad word ever, how will they ever actually learn what swear words are? Lets face it, even if you never use a bad word ever at home, eventually they’re going to hear it at school or somewhere else. Based on this line of thinking, imagine hearing all of these words that are ‘bad’ for the first time with a few friends when you’re still young. It’s going to be fascinating isn’t it. Hands up who swore their little heads off when they were out with friends knowing there were no adults about, come on be honest! If they are to discover this whole new vocabulary is this how you’d want them to find it?
Maybe dropping a few at home in your own controlled environment is a safer way to introduce them to the inevitable? At least you can control it, explain what they mean, why it’s not good for children in particular to use such words and prepare them for when they do hear them.
Is educating them in-house a better method. Give them the low down on the fact ‘piss’ is pretty low end and won’t get you in loads of trouble, but say c*nt and you’re absolutely done for, it’s almost got jail time attached to it!
We drop swear words often, nothing over the top and by often I’m not shouting from the kitchen ‘Donetta do you want a fucking drink?’ But, we do use swear words in a manner we see as OK.
Corben is 5, clearly we do not condone any swearing from his sweet little innocent mouth. Saying that, ‘kicking ass’ as he’s heard on superhero films that are aimed at children is said fairly often and we don’t have a problem.
When we say we use swearing in a manner we see as OK, what we mean is that we believe swearing isn’t always bad. We think there’s a huge difference between swearing TO someone and swearing AT someone. Swearing AT someone is not OK and won’t be done in our house. Using swearing to exaggerate a point or to enhance story telling which swearing can 100% do, that’s OK. We should point out we mean this is OK between us adults and sometimes in front of the children.
Our 13 and 14 year olds have witnessed this kind of language for years now yet understand the main point we’ve educated them to understand when it comes to swearing, respect. If you think your teenage children aren’t using and/or aren’t exposed to the more colourful side of language then frankly you’re very naive.
The method in our madness of this blog article title, is that through learning how we adults use ‘bad’ language, they will follow suit and use it only how we see appropriate. It’s difficult to explain our thinking behind this but basically if they’re out with other teenage friends who are 100% swearing with no adults around, I’m cool knowing they might drop the odd word to exaggerate a point or enhance a joke. What we do not tolerate is swearing AT other people or name calling. If the word ‘shit’ dropped into a story makes your friends laugh a bit more then fine, is it really a big deal? If you start calling another person a dick or using swear words in an aggressive manner, that’s where the line is and that’s what they’ve learnt at home from being exposed to ‘bad’ language.
For Corben at 5 it’s obviously much different. He’s not old enough to understand context thus our different way of thinking isn’t designed for him yet. His scale is more, ‘little bugger’ and ‘bloody hell’ which are phrases that are dropped almost daily in our gaff and we do not see these as swearing although after chatting with others it would appear a few people do.
Corben has heard a couple of F-bombs before, we’re pulling no wool over anyone’s eyes, it happens. The silver lining of course is that he is then taught that that language isn’t to be used by children. He tells us off for using any word he doesn’t recognise in case it’s a bad word!
I hope we’ve managed to explain our very different way of thinking and our abnormal approach to swearing around kids. I should add that ALL swearing by anyone is a big NO NO in front of other people and especially children. You’ll have read this thinking we’re cool with our teenager blurting out a ‘bollocks’ to make the kids laugh at one of Corben’s Home Ed meet-ups!
The main take-away from this I hope, is that we don’t see swearing as an ultimate sin and it’s all about educating, context and respect.
What do you think, do you agree or are we absolutely off our tits?!
Thanks for reading,
David and Donetta 🙂