Gender Stereotyping is always a hot topic and an important topic to discuss in a bid to create an equal world.
What we’ve decided to talk about in this blog however, is just how stereotypical is our relationship?
We’re a married couple in our 30’s so have experienced a time before the internet, we were raised by parents born in much more stereotypical times and we want to know how all of this has influenced our family dynamics.
There are many gender stereotypes that are split into ‘men things’ and ‘women things’ and we want to find out how many of these stereotypes are actually playing out in our relationship and in our family home. Am I a typical bloke, husband and dad, is Donetta a typical woman, wife and mum?
Let’s find out…
Donetta does almost all of the cooking, like 99% of it. Is it because she’s a woman, nope. She’s just simply better at it and it’s just become the area of our relationship that she takes care of.
Again, another ‘woman thing’ apparently. This one is again more Donetta, but definitely not a 99% to 1% split. I’m actually fairly tidy, particularly in my office space. I’d say I do plenty of tidying around but Donetta does the mass-majority of proper cleaning.
Gender stereotypes tell us, this is a ‘man thing’. Well, not quite. Yes, I am the one that will attempt any DIY as per the form book, however I’m absolutely SHITE at it. So although we do conform to stereotype on this one it’s only just.
Actually, decorating is DIY isn’t it? We both chipped in and did our bit last week in the girls bedrooms. Stripping wallpaper and painting. So actually we should call this a split decision…
I know when I was growing up both of my parents could drive, although I only actually remember my dad driving. If both of you can drive is it a thing that the man would do most of the driving? After all, women aren’t as good at driving as men are they… Apparently!
We’re forced into this stereotype as Donetta can’t drive and even if she could I would prefer to do the driving anyway, so big tick in the stereotype box.
Cutting The Grass
I can’t stand cutting the grass. It’s only beaten in my list of worst things ever, by stripping wallpaper. But, as the stereotype goes it is my job to get it done. Donetta did dig a border out and sort the weeds though, however the general grass cutting is definitely my job, unfortunately.
Working v Stay-At-Home Parent
As much as this has changed a fair bit in more recent times, it’s generally thought that the man will go out to work and the woman will look after the kids. Well, we’ve actually tried every scenario. Donetta stayed home for the first 1 and a half years of Corben’s life and I went to work. Then we tried to both go out to work, after that I stayed home and Donetta continued working and finally now, we both work but from home!
I’d say we’re anything but stereotypical with this one. We’ve always done what worked best for our family at the time until finally being in a position to balance work and home life how we want.
Bins & Tip Run
Putting the bins out is my job. David. It’s Donetta’s job to remind me, constantly! The tip run again falls on my lap, Donetta can’t drive so that one is forced, although I’d imagine it would be stay my job regardless.
Birthday & Christmas Shopping For The Kids
We’re told this one is usually down to the women, wives and mums. Not in our house. This one is 50/50. The girls generally get either money or they tell us what they want specifically with their money and we both decide what to get Corben together. We also go physically shopping together too when buying presents.
Looking at gender stereotypes from a more mental and emotional aspect, are we typical to your average man and woman/ husband and wife?
If we’re playing to the stereotype form book then Donetta being a ‘lady’ should be more emotional than me. Not true. I’d say we’re pretty even, if anything I’m slightly more emotional.
We read online when searching for gender stereotypes that women are generally more passive and quiet as opposed to men being more brass and confident. Again, this is a load of crap. We’re both massive pains in the arses. Donetta is definitely not passive or quiet. I have more confidence but that for me is a completely individual thing rather than a man thing. We’ll call this even.
So as expected in turns out that overall we’re far from stereotypical. Donetta may take care of the cooking and cleaning whilst I cut the grass an put the bins out, but the more important topics put us even.
Shopping for the kids, forming our family dynamics and our personalties are where we go against gender stereotypes and do things our own way.
Lastly, these are obviously all a load of nonsense. Stereotypes in terms of jobs for men and jobs for women are outdated and families should do whatever suits their own individual families best. We thought it would be interesting to see just how stereotypical we are without having any interest in conforming to stereotypes.
Feel free to steal the topics and take the ‘How Stereotypical Is Our Relationship Challenge’ for you and your partner and share your results with us!
Thanks for reading,
David and Donetta 🙂