I was scrolling through a bit of Facebook the other day and something caught my eye, Tips To Look After Your Husband From The 1950’s! I laughed my head off reading them for about 10 minutes and then wondered how many, if any are relevant today in 2018!
Listen up Donetta, you might learn something in this one 🙂
This list is probably all over the internet but this is the site I’ve used to copy and paste these ‘AMAZING’ tips – HERE.
Have Dinner Ready
‘Plan ahead – even the night before to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way to let him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.’
To be fair, in our house Donetta does actually do 99% of the cooking. It’s not because I’m out at work all day and she’s chained to the kitchen, it’s because we all want to live past tea time. I’m useless at cooking and don’t like it either, so this first one isn’t far off how our house works and indeed how I as a male work, I am hungry most of the time.
‘Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch-up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.’
HAHA! If wearing a dressing gown makes Donetta a little more gay and interesting then she’s nailed this one! My days are far from boring and I work from home so my work colleagues are generally a 5-year-old boy and a pug. I think this one’s way off when it comes to touching up the make-up, over the past 70 years we’ve done nothing but tell women to plaster on the make-up by the look of things, so no danger there. A ribbon in her hair, now that would definitely brighten up your day, Donetta on Instagram with a little ribbon in after making my tea, imagine that.
Clear Away The Clutter
‘Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc., then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too.’
A haven of rest and order, HAHA! If anyone with a family of 5 has a home that can be described as a haven of rest and order, quite frankly you’re lying. I’ll agree it could do with a quick dust around a little more often so I’ll point that out to Donetta and maybe she’ll book her ideas up, wish me luck with that.
Prepare The Children
‘Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small). Comb their hair and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.’
Jeez, children years ago were more like dolls than kids obviously. I don’t remember the last time Corben didn’t have pen up his arms, food down his top and playing the part of a little treasure. It’s the opening suggestion that’s funniest, like it takes only a few minutes to wash a kids face, have you ever tried, it’s like trying to juggle soap, they’re slippery little fuckers!
Minimise All Noise
‘At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.’
Hang on, so in 1950 ALL MEN were out at work? That’s what is becoming quite clear here, the bloke has always been somewhere. Sexism apart, where were all the lazy dole scroungers? Was this a period when working was more beneficial than claiming benefits? Where there any benefits back then?
This one would actually be nice to be fair, if Donetta had any control over our children whatsoever, if either of us did, it would be cool to have them shut the hell up even for 5 minutes! If you watch our vlogs when we’re at home almost every scene is plagued by the background noise of the washing machine.
One last thing, if we’re sticking with the sexist theme here, they mention to have the dishwasher be quiet, surely she is the dishwasher?
‘Don’t greet him with problems of complaints. Don’t complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through during the day.’
WOW! Tell them ladies on Jeremy Kyle that. If you’re late for dinner it’s because you’ve 100% stopped off at No.5 for a nice meal, warm smile, haven of rest all presented by Kelly with a bow in her hair.
In 2018 when you’re swapping kid duties you usually walk in to, ‘he’s drawn all over the wall, the dogs done a shit on the rug and the washer is on, sort it.’
Make Him Comfortable
‘Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax – unwind.’
If there is one of these rules that needs bringing back, then this would be my choice. Sounds like heaven. I’m just struggling with the thought of Donetta trying to speak in a low, soft, soothing voice whilst taking my shoes off… It’s not going to be pleasant.
Listen To Him
‘You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.’
This one is still in full force in our house. If you follow us on Instagram you’ll know there’s not a chance in hell Donetta is getting in the first word, or almost any words for that matter. I never knew it was an actual rule she needs to be following, top marks though Donetta!
Make The Evening His
‘Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure, he needs to be home and relax.’
Yeah, he can’t be taking you and Kelly at No.5 out! HA!
More utter bollocks isn’t it. Actually, we rarely go out on a ‘date night’ but we do make time almost every night for some Netflix. The amount of times Donetta is in Primark I know I’ll not be getting any complaints about much else.
‘Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.’
I can’t argue with this being a goal, not just for him but for everyone. However, in 1950 something I’ve come to realise is that they were boring AF! Work then home to a plastic wife with fake smiles and no moaning. No passion, no fire and kids that aren’t allowed to do anything.
All in all in summary, as expected, these rules from 1950 can stay well and truly in 1950. It would be fun to test all this out for a week though, well for me being a man obviously.